themaskgirl











{December 25, 2015}   Temptation and repulsion

To put them aside, to shove them off
I ignore, atleast try to, these feelings and
thoughts,
I cannot.

It’s an inner battle between
ARGH’s and AWW’s
between what I desire and I am sickened by
And then it breaks, cravings overruns what
I am resisting and descends a great
darkness upon a COLD WINTER’s EVE
SIX STRAIGHT HOURS OF DARKNESS
……(but then…)

Pain is all that your GUILT BEARS,
you are sickened with what you have become,
as love to my mind……
Weak is your soul! temptations are too strong!
Pain eludes you! Adrnaline is strong and weakens power of guilt.
(As for me…)

I am numb and dumbfounded
as the VICIOUS cycle repeats itself
Mush and hate
temptation and repulsion.



{October 4, 2015}   A little too much

blanket

She does so many little
Things to draw my attention
She laughs a little too often
When mad, she blinks a little too much.

Stares a little too long,
smiles a little too big,
And talks a little too much about me
And its definitely working
I am talking to her a little too much
She is crossing my mind a little too often,
And I am clearly
Falling a little too
HARD…
– Seariousman



{September 18, 2015}   Diary of a chaotic mind.

Even most romantic of souls, commit the most unromantic crime. This idea of pure love and yet we make lists in our head about what we want in a lover, like light brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that gets to you, you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Silly, people aren’t lists. I have always wanted to be that person who makes people realize this and yet I am guilty of this crime. Very much so. I want to come across someone who is not anything like i have hoped for and show me what I didn’t even know I was looking for. All this while I thought what i wanted. I was fooling myself. Nobody really knows what they want. Not until its right in front of them.

would you be able to love me though? I would love to feel the love back, to be wanted. I recommend against it though because this feeling could heat your chest and bring the earth to flames. Silly, SALLY! I am a curious person.

Don’t fall in love with a curious person. I’ll want…want to know who you are and where you come from. How your family is. I’ll look at all your pictures and read all your poems. I’ll ask you to explode when you are angry and cry your heart out when you are hurt. I’ll ask you what it means when you lift your eyebrow.

I’ll want to know your favorite food, color, person. And I’ll ask you why. I’ll buy the camera you like, I’ll start listening to your favorite band. I wouldn’t be satisfied, I would want to know what makes you uncomfortable, what weighs on your mind, what makes you cry. I’ll want to know what i did exactly, what I did to make you love me. I hope you have photogenic memory. “what time was it?” “what did I do?” “How did you feel?” I WOULD WANT TO UNBUTTON YOUR SHIRT AND READ EVERY SCAR, EVERY MARK, EVERY CURVE, EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY EXTREMITIES, EVERY INCH BEYOND THE SURFACE. But if you still fall in love with this curious person, will you forgive me for being something that will eventually die? Somethings that we love will kill us, but aren’t we dying anyway?

Dear future lover,

It’s funny to think we are strangers . You are in a different room, a different house, different country, a different continent perhaps. Thinking about things that won’t even cross my mind.
It’s so funny to think, you are out there… Laughing, dreaming, looking at the moon, wishing upon the same stars, I look upon everyday.
It’s funny to think you will love me one day.
And  today you have no idea who I am.
ps:- Know that when you do, I will  take your breath away.



et cetera