{September 18, 2015}   Diary of a chaotic mind.

Even most romantic of souls, commit the most unromantic crime. This idea of pure love and yet we make lists in our head about what we want in a lover, like light brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that gets to you, you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Silly, people aren’t lists. I have always wanted to be that person who makes people realize this and yet I am guilty of this crime. Very much so. I want to come across someone who is not anything like i have hoped for and show me what I didn’t even know I was looking for. All this while I thought what i wanted. I was fooling myself. Nobody really knows what they want. Not until its right in front of them.

would you be able to love me though? I would love to feel the love back, to be wanted. I recommend against it though because this feeling could heat your chest and bring the earth to flames. Silly, SALLY! I am a curious person.

Don’t fall in love with a curious person. I’ll want…want to know who you are and where you come from. How your family is. I’ll look at all your pictures and read all your poems. I’ll ask you to explode when you are angry and cry your heart out when you are hurt. I’ll ask you what it means when you lift your eyebrow.

I’ll want to know your favorite food, color, person. And I’ll ask you why. I’ll buy the camera you like, I’ll start listening to your favorite band. I wouldn’t be satisfied, I would want to know what makes you uncomfortable, what weighs on your mind, what makes you cry. I’ll want to know what i did exactly, what I did to make you love me. I hope you have photogenic memory. “what time was it?” “what did I do?” “How did you feel?” I WOULD WANT TO UNBUTTON YOUR SHIRT AND READ EVERY SCAR, EVERY MARK, EVERY CURVE, EVERY THOUGHT, EVERY EXTREMITIES, EVERY INCH BEYOND THE SURFACE. But if you still fall in love with this curious person, will you forgive me for being something that will eventually die? Somethings that we love will kill us, but aren’t we dying anyway?

Dear future lover,

It’s funny to think we are strangers . You are in a different room, a different house, different country, a different continent perhaps. Thinking about things that won’t even cross my mind.
It’s so funny to think, you are out there… Laughing, dreaming, looking at the moon, wishing upon the same stars, I look upon everyday.
It’s funny to think you will love me one day.
And  today you have no idea who I am.
ps:- Know that when you do, I will  take your breath away.


{August 17, 2013}   CURIOSITY!! -good or bad?

disney-quotes-posterCuriosity to me is a tingly feeling in my stomach. It’s a desire to know what is that or this thing! If there is an event and i didn’t attend I’ll be wanting to know- what if i was there?,If two of my friends are keeping secrets I’ll be dieing to know, If someone close to me talking secretly with someone not so close to me I’ll be wondering like mad and dieing what the hell is going on?. Curiosity is something which always puts me in a situation that i never want to face. It keeps me away from the world that I have known for so long. Besides knowing that curiosity is going to kill the real but not so real world of mine why am i always curious?But  maybe because If i wasn’t curious on knowing certain things i would have never discovered the truth. I would have not been successful on my wins. “Not all failures are bad they teach you or i should put it as failures are not bad its an opportunity to prove yourself again”- I could say this because once i was curious to know on this thing. Similarly i am curious about many and loads and loads of things. Sometimes i am confused if it is curiosity or anger or jealousy or something but whatever it is, i want to say it curiosity…. 🙂

et cetera