{January 7, 2016}   Jamesy boy
  • In my mind, there’s a boy
    who exists in chains.
    Inside a cold, dark room
    of painful solitude
    is where he will remain.
    Behind these walls
    the sorrow is inevitable.
    as relentless as
    the passage of time.
    Mentalities corrupt & dark,
    and hopelessly blind.
    Prisons are packed
    with crowded spaces,
    lifers and guards with
    hollow hearts
    afraid of changes,
    and weakened wills
    become complacent.
    yet, I maintain with patience,
    time can limit
    but not shatter my will,
    strength blazed across my chest,
    as solid as
    penitentiary steel,
    but the silence speaks,
    it tells me all I need to hear,
    It confirms my beliefs & its
    promises I have to fear.
    It reminds me that without
    freedom, I’m alone.
    And these whitewashed walls
    don’t make up
    for blackened souls.
    I’ve given 95% of my boys
    a handshake than a pound,
    before they were either locked
    down or buried off
    in cemetery grounds.
    What I’ve done is who I am,
    but who I am is what I do now
    I won’t let up or cease
    to fight.
    Just time,
    I plan on doing it right.
    And what’s right
    lies within me.
    I’m learning to
    appreciate my struggle
    for it would be hard to find
    the joy of accomplishment
    without it.
    We live and we learn.
    We rise and we fall.
    Like the heartbeat
    of a sleeping giant
    with bitter-sweetness dreams.
    (movie- Jamesy boy)

{December 25, 2015}   Temptation and repulsion

To put them aside, to shove them off
I ignore, atleast try to, these feelings and
I cannot.

It’s an inner battle between
ARGH’s and AWW’s
between what I desire and I am sickened by
And then it breaks, cravings overruns what
I am resisting and descends a great
darkness upon a COLD WINTER’s EVE
……(but then…)

Pain is all that your GUILT BEARS,
you are sickened with what you have become,
as love to my mind……
Weak is your soul! temptations are too strong!
Pain eludes you! Adrnaline is strong and weakens power of guilt.
(As for me…)

I am numb and dumbfounded
as the VICIOUS cycle repeats itself
Mush and hate
temptation and repulsion.

{February 13, 2014}   A PARTY OF FUN AND :'((..

I know a party is meant for only fun.  Farewell party is not only fun but it gives you that feeling of losing your days of stress free fun . 11th Feb. , 2014 is the day when our junior bid us farewell. While in the party i was enjoying myself.. [didn’t shed a tear, like all others would do when they leave school and get farewell.] Then why when i came back home and suddenly felt  a VERY STRANGE AND AWKWARD FEELING. I didn’t want to do anything so i just went off to bed and slept. When i got up in the morning i realized ..” DAMN! MY SCHOOL DAYS HAVE ENDED.. MY FRIENDS WILL GO APART .. WILL I EVER HAVE SOMEONE SO CLOSE AND DEAR TO ME ,LIKE THEM?  ARE MY DAYS JUST GONNA START IN BED AND IN BED WITHOUT ANYTHING THAT IS FUN HAPPENING IN BETWEEN? WILL I BE CAGED IN MY OWN HOUSE? DO I HAVE TO DO ALL THAT HOUSEHOLD CHORES LIKE ANY OTHER INDIAN GIRL? ”
God please drift me apart from such thoughts because all this very strange feeling and thoughts are not letting me concentrate on my exams. And i don’t want to experience anything as that ^^… Huhhhhhh!!! (deep breath)


{February 2, 2014}   MY BROTHER









He just really have to do a single thing wrong,
For me to become a volcano and explode,
It’s just that he is like a huge pile of needles,
That is continually adding to my load,
It doesn’t take a lot from him,
To make me suddenly snap,
His mere presence alone is all it takes,
To break the camels back,
The thing about it all is that I know,
I know the whole thing is due to me,
What he does doesn’t have be bothersome,
Yet every time I still let it be,
He behaves like a rabbit caught in the lights,
When I start to raise my voice,
My brother doesn’t like to be shouted at,
But it’s not like I have a choice,
I’m out of control when I’m angered by him,
I react like a time-ticking bomb,
He has a knack for annoying me,
Even when he isn’t doing something wrong,
I’m younger than him so I should be respectful
to be angry my words are reasonable yet they say
I should be reasonable and not get angry,
But he sure knows how to annoy,
He tells me he really can’t help it,
It’s a semi-deliberate thing,
And I know I should loosen up,
But my brother’s so damn annoying,
He does the things he knows bug me most,
He’s a pest who buzzes in my ear,
His behaviour seems to drive me to the edge,
Or at least worryingly near,
I love him, I do, rather deep down,IMG-20131226-WA0046
And sometimes my brother is great,
I should get off his back and stop being mean,
But he seems to like to irritate,
It doesn’t really matter because soon I’ll be gone,
Out of the home and flying from the nest,
It’s not like he’s the only annoying brother in the world,
I know I’m one of ‘the rest’,
The best thing to do is to keep my cool,
And not let him get my hot under the collar,
Since even though he really annoys me,
I really do love my brother.

** WINK** 😉

{January 5, 2014}   Escaping!!


{December 22, 2013}   MEMORIES LAST FOREVER


{December 22, 2013}   YOUR BEST SHOT


{December 22, 2013}   JUST FEELING IT


{June 27, 2013}   Life Would Be SImple..

If I could tell every bit of my life to someone,
If i did not worry about mistakes i did and learnt from,
If i could laugh without a fear of being hurt,
If i could dance without being laughed,
If i could write down all my feelings on a paper and did not care if somebody would read it,
If my bff wouldn’t have been so complicated,
If nobody wanted to interfere in each others life,

{June 1, 2013}   LIKE THE BREEZE

The breeze runs it gentle fingers,
Through my long, soft hair,
It gently caresses my face,
It does what it likes without a care.
It pulls gently at my clothes,
And delicately brushes against my skin,
It cools the warm, humid night,
And slowly stirres a desire within.
It blows across my closed eyes,
And it dries the moisture from my lips,
But it does it ever so lovingly,
Just like the touch of your fingertips.
I hear the soft sound it makes,
Just like someone whispering in my ear,
I listen to what it has to say,
And the words seem to be so clear.
It taunts and teases me,
But I’m willing to join in on it’s game,
It softly laughs at me,
And it seems to be calling my name.
But it doesn’t frighten me,
It makes me feel kind of free,
It sweeps away the loneliness,
When you’re not here with me…

et cetera