{February 6, 2014}   Help a wandering mind maybe?

Okay i haven’t confessed this anyone before ( admit is a better term i think) … so there is this weird thing that happens to me when ever i listen to , or read , or see things from 19th century or early 20th century , i don’t know why i feel this connection , i get nostalgic , i feel like i belong to them and they belong to me. Trust me its just not love or passion for things from that era , i feel like , ummmm i don’t know…ummm…arghh!! its really frustrating to be not able to put it into words (probably the reason i could never bring this up to anyone , for the fear that such a “thing” may not be justly conveyed and i cant bear to not be able to do things rightly…and this is very dear to me i wouldn’t want to be laughed at for this).

If you have seen “midnight in Paris” by Woody Allen , you would think i have the same dilemma which the lead character in the movie had , maybe its true , i do love that era and yeah i wouldn’t have regretted being born in that time ( but then would i want to be born in future? or would i want to be in an even earlier period? or my feeling of belonging”ness” persist?)
but i don’t think its the same situation as that of the lead character that i am in. I am a bit more weird then him i guess ­čśŤ
…he atleast knew about the era he loved , he read abt it …. i on the other hand know barely anything
abt the time i am talking abt ( creepy right?)

There is this song called ” Video killed the radio star” by The buggles…ok so i do not listen to radio and i have never listend it to it for more than 10 minutes maybe…yet when i listen to this song i get nostalgic and sad its as if u know….

even though i mentioned earlier abt 19th and early 20th century…yet there is this daily show ” The wonder years” and “That 70’s show” which attract me and i love them immensely…so i guess my this “thing” is not limited to a period i guess!!….i felt the same “thing” even when i read couple of short stories for example “The third level by Jack Finney” or ” summer of beautiful white horse by William Saroyan”

ummm cant reach to any conclusion!! please speak your mind out on this please….anything criticize or laugh or comment or nything

-wandering mind-


I suddenly feel frustrated and angry today …. reason you ask? i don’t know whats the reason but i know one thing for a fact and that is i am either going to break something or i am going to break something

It is possible that while you are reading this you may think whats wrong with this girl? why would she think we give a crap about what she thinks and how she is feeling? and i completely get it , seriously┬á i am not writing this blog for anyone to read , i am writing it just because i am writing it. I do not know how long this blog will go because i haven’t decided what i am going to write about!! i am just typing because it is making me feel better (probably because i am hitting keys pretty hard , and pretending that┬á am beating the crap out of something)

The extract that is posted above i wrote it a while ago and today while i was going through my draft i saw it.  Its felt so silly and stupid to ready that , yet i am posting it today. WHY?(i am not drunk, if you guessed that you are wrong) . Because it exposes a very critical thing , it questions several believes and philosophies that we have accepted and some that we have ignored either because we are ignorant or we have lack of understanding or both!!

now that i think of that day , i cant find one reason that could have frustrated me or made me angry , if it was not something ‘wordly’ what was it? was my soul troubled? were negative vibes present near me? i cant think rationally .. Have you ever experienced such a thing

P.S. I Have not gone barmy and i am not drunk..but frustrated because i cant find a logical explanation why was i frustrated that day… and sorry if i frustrated you by being frustrated about my frustration

et cetera